beulahbondo's Diaryland Diary

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My breakfast with Mr. Ron Coe

This morning I enjoyed some brisk back-and-forth email with Mr. Ron Coe of East Cambridge, who was digging for news about the Greyhound's dinner date the night before (alas, I had none). After we talked about the Greyhound, it went like this:

Beulah: Here's a documentary for you (maybe) - every single one of donna puma's boyfriends has lived in Connecticut, if only for a year or two. She wants to do a road trip, a tour of Connecticut based on her boyfriend history. ...

Who is Dixie?

Ron Coe: dixie was one of my series of girlfriends who moved away-- i had a succession-- spain, china, california. she was china. can you get any farther/further away. poor girl. everyone called her daisy or trixie and said things like, oh my dog was named dixie.

i'm from connecticut. do you think i have a chance with donna puma? have you seen sherman's march?

Beulah: oh, right, it is sort of like Sherman's March.

You would totally have a chance w/ Donna Puma, excpet she is madly in love with Giuliano! But she's crazy about you! She really is!

Poor Dixie. I know how it is with the name thing. I get called Lola, Boopsie, Laylah, Beatrice. "Oh, I had a cat named Beatrice." Worst was when old black men in georgia would call me Buford. Well, no, that wasn't the worst. It was the best.

Ron Coe: is Giuliano from connecticut? because if not, i'd say i'm better positioned to be donna puma's man.

[lost message in which Ron Coe reveals that he's considering dating a weird drunk doctor who makes him laugh and doesn't mind Ron Coe's passive-aggressiveness that, he says, men are so good at]

Beulah: Oh, go for the weird drunk doctor! Did you meet her online? My friend Rusty is dating a kinky doctor that he met on Nerve. And it's not just the male of the species who does the pushmi-pullyu. I do the same thing. In two years of intermittent posting on Nerve I've gone on one date and one phone call.

Ron Coe: do you think i am dating the same weird kinky doctor from nerve as rusty?

Beulah: No, no, you're clutching at straws. Rusty's kinky doctor is from LA.

Ron Coe:she's from la too. beverly hills. no i'm wrong. beverly mass.

Beulah: You obviously don't want to work. You should go to lunch.

Ron Coe:i already ate lunch. did i ever send you my picture of a canteloupe?

[he sends photo of sliced cantaloupe]

Beulah: Yoni-riffic! Can I post any of our conversation? I will change all names. And add insults.

Ron Coe: what does yoni riffic mean? is that good? here's another food graph. it's not as good. [sends photo of smiling candies]

you can post whatever you like but don't get me in any trouble.

Beulah: "Yoni" is tantric-talk for magima, which is Beulah-talk for vagina.

Aw, the other one is right cute. I have to go to my office now and talk to harvard students.

Ron Coe: i have to go eat my second lunch. toodle loooooooo

***

Ay yi yi yi yi yi! I have to pack! I'm leaving early tomorrow for the Rampage!

9:58 p.m. - 2003-03-13

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