beulahbondo's Diaryland Diary

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This just in!

I was going to complain about my allergies, but fortunately Habbit came through with the following embed dispatch:

Confidential: For Diaryland Eyes Only

This is NYC blogger Habbit, with an exclusive on request to one Beulah Bondo.�I have been on "vacation," which has turned into me serving duty as an embedded reporter with the 23rd Infantry unit of Subgenius Unleaded Nationalist Front.

We are currently on maneuvers through the subways of New York, looking for giant sandworms apparently seeded here in the 1930s by one Al-Farque Abdul, a Middle Eastern embassy chair and weekend occultist.�What follows is a description of an occurance that happened below NYC on March 21st 2003, shortly after I went on hiatus from my duties as a Diaryland blogger.�I present these events as fact, but you will be unable to quote me on any of this for obvious reasons.

After Sept 11 (Sept 12th!) the SUNF kicked into high gear.�Currently acting under the jurisdiction (but not control thereof) of the Church of the Subgenius, the SUNF acts as an independent body of highly trained individuals who fight for various undisclosed causes.�As far back as 1947, SUNF was active (at that time it was a militarized offshoot of NY's Madame Blavatski's Golden Dawn sect) in and around the Tri-State area, Philadelphia, and far north as Bangor, ME (I hardly know her!).�Concerning recent events, thus far we have come across evidence of "action" but our short-range sensors and team psychics have only picked up traces of these massive beasts.�On March 16th, I was contacted by SUNF to come on board as their documentarian (they were sooooo way ahead of the us govt by embedding me!).

For the past couple of weeks, I have been busy documenting paranormal activities surrounding the capture and subgegation of giant sandworms under the island of Manhattan.�As I said before, it is believed that the larvae were seeded in the bedrock under Central Park as far back as 1931 by elusive Arabic US operative Al-Farque Abdul.�It was not until activity was full recognized in 1978, that SUNF even took action against this diabolical threat.�The apparent lifecycle of these creatures is long, with the incubation period being the longest.�They will spawn, then move through the city underground, loosening the holy bedrock that this city was built upon, until they find a suitable breeding ground (usually near a powerplant or electrical facility).�Recently SUNF has tracked a few of these massive and foreboding beasts moving north towards India Point Nuclear Power station, and we have been pursuing several targets on foot and in earth burrowing vehicals known as "DirtBurners".

�My one and only sighting of a giant worm was brief but filled with fear and anticipation.�We were some 2000 ft below midtown (34th & Lex), when we came across a fresh tunnel.�Still steaming from the passage of the giant worm, we quickly took samples, encased them, and sent them to our surface office (in Harlem, 125th) for analysis.�We proceeded to move through the tunnel some 3 miles until we came across what we thought was a pale bare wall.��Our team psychic, one Edward Blastoise, immediately went catatonic, as the wall reared back to reveal a fully grown worm in repose.�"Shock and awe" are almost appropriate adjectives to describe this hideous creature.�The team scattered back up the tunnel as fast as possible, while team leader Catherine DeNoover [I want this for my diary name!-- Beulah] set one of our DirtBurners on self-destruct.�Escaping with only mild Burn-burns, we believe we chased the beast off.�Currently we have restocked our weaponry and supplies and are continuing to stalk the worm, now playfully referred to as "Gummi."��

More reports will follow, and expect a full return to Diaryland shortly, as my duties with SUNF will come to an end in April.

Thank you, Habbit, and goblessya.

4:55 p.m. - 2003-03-29

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