beulahbondo's Diaryland Diary
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Add "in bed" and it's REALLY funny!
My friend Don Diner, owner of the Delux Town Diner in Watertown, Mass., asked me to write fortunes for his new line of fortune cookies. Which was very nice of him, considering that I turned him down cold when he asked me to write a press release for his new line of Kobe-style beef. (Noisy Parker took the job, and turned it out in his usual firm, no-frills style.) Anyway, I invited Donna Puma, Giuliano, Fuad Ramses, and Mr. Ron Coe of East Cambridge (soon to be of New York City, alas!) to join me for dinner at the diner and brainstorm some fortunes.
Here are some of my favorites: You suffer fools gladly. You are the future of the species. You will never know why the person with you is smiling. You will invent a new use for Madonna. There is a reason why your phone never rings. You are a victim of unconventional love. You've got the sweetest hangover. No one cares about your roaming minutes. Whitey Bulger just left the building. You will make way for ducklings. You say yes, I say no. You've just been Googled. That's not a freckle.
And my favorite: Stop pretending you're Irish.
My low-level virus has pushed its way up to my eyes, so I must to bed now. Good night, dear readers. If you have a favorite fortune, leave it here in the guestbook.
10:14 p.m. - 2003-03-30
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