beulahbondo's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dawn

Oh, kids, I woke up at 5 a.m. because it was so light out, and got up at 6 because I just couldn't sleep. This ain't no April Fool.

Today I am thinking about the "America's Most Talented Kid" program that I saw last week./P>

Amongst all the cute li'l tap dancers and Jon-Benets, there was one 14-year-old girl who really could sing. She sang an obscure Aretha Franklin blues cover; she moved naturally and did not hold her microphone in that dumb fingertip style. She sang in a gregarious, full-throated way and did not trot out the usual prime-time tonsil-grinding growls and Beyonce-style death-wails. She was great!

Then the host took her aside for the chit-chat. On this program, the child sits with their stage parent on a carpet-covered step for the chit-chat, as if to say, we're all above board here. So the host says, "How long have you taken singing lessons?" And she says "Oh, I've never taken lessons, we can't afford them." Mother, who has long hippie hair and suspicious, possibly lesbian, jewelry, nods neutrally. The host looks a little rattled, although he must have known this from the girl's earlier auditions. "Well, what do you want to be when you grow up?" he asks. "If I'm not a singer, I want to be a civil rights lawyer for Native Americans," she says, and flashes a peace sign at the audience.

Uh-oh! Warning! Homeschooled, left-wing, composting blended-family child! Judges Marcia Brady, Lance Bass, and Sisqo let her have it with the lowest scores this program has ever seen. The three-year-old who sang "The Greatest Love" got 10s for showmanship; the six-month-old who breakdanced and sang "I Will Survive" would have gotten 15s if the judges had had that button on their little scorebox. This talented but dangerously weird girl got 9.1.

Next up was a sullen girl in pantyhose and slutty shoes who sang the Christina Skankuilera song, the one about keeping your self-esteem up. She copied every little skanky growl and moan; in her little interview she asserted that this song was "really important for people" and got nearly perfect scores.

Well, maybe my newspaper has arrived by now. Thank you, and good morning.

6:35 a.m. - 2003-04-01

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry

other diaries:

cracklaugh
pirate-ships
sksmith
peth
ginaromntica
addieplum
garloo
journalman
btchelicious
blandman
weeme
habbit
kittybukkake
scanzilla
vivateasel
bonypony
galaxy
torchstar
zantimisfit
evany
mommylap
ladymerlot
metonym